An Artist

Most artists feel alone in the world, and desperately seek connection.

My Theatre Theory professor said that this morning, and goddamn is it true. People may think that "connection" would be switched with "attention," but I don't believe that's the case. I don't do things to make people pay attention to me, but rather to listen to me, and to connect with me. I want them to understand where I am coming from, and who I am. Very few people actually know who I am. They know my name, but they don't know what I'm about. Artists get this connections by the going through rehearsal processes, and working together. Collaboration. That's why your artists seem to stay in their little cliques. It's who they connect with the easiest. I mean, most of my friends are involved in theatre or music. I met them through doing those things. It's extremely difficult for me to connect to people without the art. I'm just so invested in what I do that it's hard to step out of that world.

I think that's what makes someone want to be an artist-a need to escape loneliness, but that can backfire too. They spend all their time trying to connect through their art that they find themselves too busy for an actual relationship. Platonic relationships are usually fine, but a relationship with a lover takes more energy. I am guilty of this. I'd rather focus on what I'm doing with my life as an artist, rather than get involved with someone. But I will admit that it does get lonely, but I just stifle those feelings with comatosing myself with music and theatre. I have faith though that one day I will chill the fuck out, and actually start giving my love life a chance. I am, like, the world's most guarded person though, so it's going to take a little work. haha. But I'm not too worried yet.

I'm starting to like this term "artist" more and more lately. At first I was hesitant to use it to describe myself, but you know what? That is what I am. If someone has this much passion for something, and actually has the fire in them to go after that, you can't take that title away from them. This is what I'm going to do it, and everything else can suck it!

:D

Peace,
Bree